The life that we live
by Katyarenah
Summary: Ponyboy was always supposed to go to college and get out of the East Side, and Angela Shepard was supposed to live freely and have fun, but now that Angela is pregnant for him they both have to rethink their plans. Life does not always go as planned but could every cloud still have a silver lining?


Author´s note: So I got inspired by the song White Trash Beautiful and wanted to write something based on it...and well this is haha. I put a lot of effort on this story and I would feel really loved, if you guys would take the time and review=).

Happy Holidays for you all and special thanks to the lovely DarkAngelz200.

x Katyarenah

Ps: Image of this story is made by Irkku ( From site called Finfanfun ), not me.

Warnings: Cursing, and a death.

Disclaimer: I don´t own The Outsiders or the song White Trash Beautiful by Everlast.

**The life that we live.**

**Angela**

_White Trash Beautiful, Trailer Park Queen  
She slings hash at the diner from 11 to 5  
She married a boy from school, thought he was oh so cool  
But all he can do for money is drive_

_07:00 5__th__ of the December_

He is leaving again, to earn money for your little family. He pecks your cheek obediently, but his eyes are full of hatred and bitterness.

"I will be back in three days."

You nod; there is not much you can say. You don´t want him to leave. You want to him to hold you and love you like on that night your son was made. But you are too tough to admit it." I don´t need anyone, I can take care of myself just fine. "You whisper, almoust believing.

Single tear escapes from your eye corner, you pray for the god that he will be alright and come home. He was never your first choice, but you can´t raise this child alone. Of course you loved from the first sight his brown-reddish hair, beautiful green eyes, and his kindness, but he was supposed just be one night stand or maybe a boyfriend for a couple of weeks, like all the guys - someone to hold you and to buy you beers, because since you were a little girl you have known that guys are just trouble: They come, crush your heart and leave, so it is better not to get too attached to any of them.

In deep down you hope that he would be different, maybe he would be there for you and treat you okay. He doesn't love you, you know that for sure, but you think that maybe you two could still have decent life together. He is a good guy and you really try your best not to make his life too hard. And if you are death honest to yourself you love him, whether or you like it or not.

**Pony**

3:00 6th of the December

_Out late haulin' freight on Interstate 5, prayin' he'll see home before his baby arrive_

My eyelids are getting heavier and heavier as hours and miles pass, but if I want to be home before the baby is due I have to keep on driving. I try to keep my mind busy so I won´t fall asleep. I think about my wife Angela. Just five words from her mouth and suddenly my life became a mess.

… Flashback…

Angela Shepard stands on our door wearing skimpy outfit and her significant cocky smile. I can only wonder what she is doing here, this is not her neigbourhood and nor I or my brothers are close to her.

" Uhhmmm...Hi Angela, Tim is not here." I utter

She rolls her eyes.

"I ain´t´ here for Tim." She sniffs looking me into eyes keeping her cool "Remember when we had some fun at Buck´s?"

I blush, I were a bit drunk from the beers Two bit made me drink to celebrate my 17th birthday, but I do still remember losing my virginity very well.

"Yeah, what about it?" I say frowning, should I have called and asked her out though she was the one leaving at the morning?

"I am pregnant for you." She spats out and looks me into eyes daring me. I can see the fear in her eyes though she does good job hiding it behind all the gum chewing and attitude.

...End of the flashback…..

Later Soda told me that lost my consciousness immediately.

I shake my head and sigh, it all happened so fast after that: I dropped out the school and married her. Darry yelled at me for hours. He said that I could have been anything, but instead of that I was going to spend my whole life doing shitty jobs like him and dad, but I had to do it. I couldn´t have lived my life and went to a college knowing that I have a kid in Tulsa growing up without a dad, and if you are in school you can´t make enough money to support a family that just is the harsh reality.

I don´t hate Angela Shepard though maybe I should, she is after all the reason why I have to drive this truck to at least somehow make ends meet . But on the other hand she didn't intentionally get pregnant or anything, but it kills me to see my ex-classmates going to school and Soda´s eyes when he thinks I am not watching. He used to say how proud he was for me being so smart and going to college, but now he looks me like I had let him down.

_He lights a cigarette, his eyes half open_  
_He won't be home tonight, but she keeps hopin'_  
_Drinking himself to sleep is his only way of copin'_  
_She waits for him every night, she leaves the front door open_  
_It's 4 AM and doing 95, trying to stay awake and make it home alive_

**Angela**

_Her lips stay painted red, nametag's crooked  
Her heart's been gone awhile with the truck driving man that took it  
He keeps her photograph on his rear view mirror  
She prays for him every night, she hopes that he can hear her_

14:58 7th of the December

You collect dirty dishes from the tables like a robot, you have only been at work about two hours but you already feel like telling all the stupid clients to go to hell…..yeah, yeah you are pregnant , but it is not a crime and those socy bitches have no right look you like that. But having to work while pregnant has it sides too, all those middle aged ladies have left you big tips when they have seen your bump and Tim finally allowed you to drop out from the school. Like you really ever were going to the college or anything anyway, you chuckle. Tim….your mind drifts to the day when you told him.

…..Flashback….

You have cooked his is favourite food, and tried to clean the house up best you can. He will be home soon and you are not exactly jumping up and down from the excitement. You are not afraid of him, but getting knocked up has always been the only thing he has really forbid you to do, well he has actually told you not to do millions of things, but not with that tone and look.

Slam of the door.

You gulp and nervously pretend to be cutting tomatoes. Tim marches to the kitchen to grab a beer. " You have cooked?" He laughs cocking his eyebrow like it would rare as Curly passing geometry.

"Yeah, I thought it would be nice for you to come home, if there would be a meal waiting."

He narrows his eyes suspecting something. The Angela Shephard he knows doesn´t act that nice. In a seconds he has you pinned against the cupboard " What have you done, sis?

You feel yourself getting annoyed " Nothing…." You stare him from eye to eye.

"Don´t lie."

"Uhhm…Lets eat first okay?" You try to suggest knowing that being hungry makes Tim really crumpy ,and dealing with pissed off Tim is the last thing you need right now.

"Nope, you tell me now. I have other shit to too." He says tightening his grip.

"I am pregnant."

He slaps you to the cheek "Whore."

You start crying though you will hate yourself for that tomorrow. It is not that you would care that he just hit you or that he called you whore, you just are just too tired to stand alone against the whole world.

" I am in so big trouble Tim. I don´t know what to do."

He gets himself together and mumbles couple curse words and sighs. "Do you know who the dad is?"

"Ponyboy Curtis."

"I am gonna´ have a talk with him."

You grab his arm "Tim, don´t hurt him."

"Of course not." he says cracking knuckles "We are just going to have a word."

You watch him to walk out of the house to his car. You are not too keen of the idea of him beating Pony up, but at the same time, you are happy that he takes care of you, and sorts out your messes.

…..end of the flashback….

Bells rings and you get distracted from your dreams - time to work again.

**Pony**

02:03 8th of the December

Tired looking beautiful waitress with too many buttons opened from her dress and eyes that have seen too much. She reminds me a lot of Angie so I smile and let her keep the change. She smiles back at me, but smile doesn't reach her eyes.

Sometimes I wonder what Angela thinks about me. Am I just someone she has to bare, because we have baby together? Or does she care about me? I don´t know really, she never tells me that she loves me or anything, but sometimes she curls up against me and kisses me tenderly or cooks my favourite food, when I come home from the road. I sip my coffee , I don´t act that nice towards her either. It is not that I would hate her, but like on that day I left last time I felt so worried about leaving her when she is about to give a birth and annoyed about going to the job I hate that I just couldn´t remember how to be nice, and it is the same thing at home: I am always tired and worrying about money so I don´t any energy to be nice or ask how her day was.

I see napkins front of me. Maybe I should write to her? I have anyway always been better with writing things than saying them at loud, and I really feel that I should tell her how I feel about her, we are anyway going to be spend our lives together and she deserves to know that she is not just someone I married cause her big brother made me to…or well at least that is not the whole truth. I take a napkin and start to write, I should hit the road soon anyway so I don´t have time write long love letters but I try my best.

**Angela**

20:02 8th of the December

He should be home tonight. You are really looking forward to it. You hate to be alone and you need to feel his body against yours to convince you that everything will be alright and you two will make it. Chicken is stirring on a pan and you are trying to chop onions with your other hand and stir the chicken with a spatula on your other hand. Familiar ringing comes from the door you ran to open, it is probably Pony, so you put smile on your face.

Serious looking cop stands on your door.

"Are you mrs. Angela Curtis?"

"Yes" You say wondering that he is probably here because your dump ass brothers have done something, again, and cops think you are hiding them.

" I am police officer Harry Wardwick, and I unfortunately have to tell you that your husband Ponyboy Curtis was in fatal car accident tonight."

"H-he is de-ad?" You whisper feeling your eyes to fill up with tears.

Police officer nods and you collaps on your knees unable to collect yourself or stop crying.

Police officer mumbles " Sorry for your loss." and leaves.

After a while of crying you look to the mirror: eyes are puffy and red.

You slap your cheek

" He didn't even love you so there is no need to cry your eyes out. Get yourself together, you have gone through worse." You nod to yourself sternly and wipe your tears. After reapplying you make-up you call Tim to pick you up.

You tell yourself over and over again that there is no point feeling sorry for yourself, everyone else will anyway, "Poor little pregnant teen slut, who´s oh so goody two shoes husband is dead."

And all you got left is your shell and pride.

…

14:03 11th of the December

Couple days later other officer stops by and hands you his personal possession from truck.

A photo of you, couple of coins, lighter and some envelope with your name on it.

You open it out of curiosity.

…_  
White Trash Beautiful, there's something you should know  
My heart belongs to you girl  
I know you could've found you some better guy  
I'll love you till the day I die  
I swear to God it's true  
I'm comin' home to you  
I'm comin' home to you girl_

_Pony_  
…

You stare at the letter. He loved you, he fucking loved you and suddenly you are not able to take it anymore.

You finally snap.

You scream and cry.

You don´t eat or sleep for days, you are a wreck and nothing feels real.

You have faint memories of going to the hospital and holding a baby that they are telling you is dead, but you know they are lying. Your beautiful baby boy can´t be dead…they give you yet another sleeping pill and you down it cause you are starting to remember again.

Nurse checks on you and tells you that you are healing well and that everything will be fine and that you will be back with your family soon.

You laugh, you won´t be fine anytime soon.


End file.
